Inside the Mind of a Vampire
by Hemamal
Summary: Poems inspired by Alucard. Please read and review! I would really like some input. All comments are welcome, but please don't be rude.Anonymous reviews are now enabled.
1. Vampiric Song

_**Author's Note: **_These poems were inspired by Alucard from Hellsing, but I am using them for my own character in a story I'm writing. Please review, I would love input.

_**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Alucard that joy belongs to Kohta Hirano and company. Hirano is also the one who came up with the term No-Life King (yes, it's just a phrase but I didn't create it, just covering all bases) I do however own thess poems in part and as a whole please don't use any of it without permission.

_**Vampiric Song**_

_I have blood on my hands _

_Yet there is no remorse_

_No humane thoughts dwell within this hollow shell_

_  
A sinful demon, am I?_

_A damned soul for all eternity_

_  
Forced to wonder_

_Never to find peace_

_Death so near yet so far_

_  
Once noble blood flowed within_

_Now tainted by the centuries drenched in blood_

_  
Never knowing an end to my hunger_

_I feast on the pure and impure alike_

_A parasite to humanity_

_The true angel of death_

_A creature of lore_

_Yet am real to the touch_

_I delight in things forbidden to man_

_With my humanity lost_

_It's all rather entertaining_

_  
Never stopping_

_Always looking for a great thrill_

_Stop me if you can _

_Within me dwells the most ancient of things_

_Immortal by human standards_

_Destined to transcend you all_

_Shackled by a human will_

_Forced to obey_

_They wish to tame me_

_But how can you tame the untamable?_

_The unbeatable?_

_Immune to most things_

_A true child of darkness_

_A No Life king_

_  
Forever lost in shadow _

_Destined to wander aimlessly_

_For it is a vampiric song._


	2. Haunted

**Disclaimer: **Same as before. This poem was only somewhat inspired by Alucard. He is my muse but I don't own him, unfortunatly.

Tell me what you think. Enjoy!!

**_Haunted_**

_I am haunted by the past _

_Unable to escape its grasp_

_  
Its ghastly hands stretching to consume me_

_I can't fight them_

_Their hold is too strong_

_  
Their pain echo through me_

_Haunting my every waking moment_

_  
My ghosts are claiming me_

_  
The harder I fight_

_The more they draw me in_

_  
I cannot run_

_I have nowhere to hide_

_  
Not even insanity can release me_

_It just replays the horrors_

_  
How can one escape the past?_

_Ha, if only I knew_


	3. Save Me

_**Disclaimer: **_Same as before.

_**Author's Note: **_If you have not read about the fight btw Anderson and Alucard this may sound unlike Alucard and even if you have it may still seem unlike Alucard. But I like this poem so I put it up.

_**Thanks: **_Thank you to Alucard's girl and Holy Lich for the reviews! Your input means a lot to me. And those of you how do like my poems please, please review. Even if it's a one word review or just a smiley they mean a lot to me. Thanks.: )

I'm still learning how to skip lines between the verses, so sorry if the rhythm seems off a little(same for the poems before). Oh these poems aren't in any kind of order I just post them when I satisfied with them.

_**Save Me**_

_Somebody save me_

_From myself_

_And the evils of the world_

_The torments by night_

_  
Save me from the stupidity of mankind _

_Far too ignorant to see the truth_

_Blinded by foolish pride_

_Tainted by greed_

_  
Save me from the world as I know it_

_Release me until the day of truth_

_Save me_

_  
Allow me to perish as I am_

_Untainted by this world of hells_

_The demons of hate everywhere I turn_

_Tainting the world with their filth_

_  
Release me from this world_

_And you will save me._


	4. Truth's Pain

_**Disclaimer: **_Same as before!

_**Author's Note: **_This poem was inspire by the picture at http://groups. (spoiler alert if you continue forward or backwards) and Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy". Don't pay attention to the words.

This is more like Alucard's thinking in retrospect of this scene when he's calm and more sane. This is one of my favorite poems. I hope you enjoy it. : )

_**Truth's Pain**_

_You poor soul,_

_You think you're in control of the world around you?_

_  
When you're gone the world will not stop_

_It will not pause at your passing_

_It will continue as if you were never there_

_  
Why do tears fill your eyes?_

_Are you so hurt by the truth_

_That you can make a mental wound, so physical?_

_  
You scream as if you've been gutted_

_Your insides plunged to the cold waiting earth_

_Yet, you are perfectly whole_

_  
Why do you cry, you poor fool?_

_Can the truth hurt that much?_

* * *

Thanks for the reviews this far. Thank you reviewers, I love ya!! 

_**Extra:**_ I think I have only about two more poems to put in this section. One is about the length of the others while the other is super long and I will really need your reviews and help with. I think it's a bit of a ramble but I'll leave it for you to decide later.

**Thanks and Please Review!!!!!!**


	5. Battlefield

_**Disclaimer: **_Same as before. I don't own Hellsing or Alucard, which saddens me greatly.

_**Author's Note: **_Hey guys! It's been a while. I wish I could say that the delay was because I was busy but that would be a complete lie. I've just been enjoying my summer .

This poem actually came to me when I was sitting in the back seat of the care while my mom was driving. I just got finished reading the beginning of the fight with Millennium and he transformed. It was also influenced by the fanfics "After the Fall" and "Ash". I'm still working on this poem so **please review and give me suggestions on how to make it better.**

* * *

_**Battlefield**_

_Come dance with me on the battlefield_

_Bodies lie beaten and decayed_

_The smell of death saturates the air_

_  
Join me in the dance of victory_

_Over the corpses of the fallen_

___  
Our enemies left to lie broken and bleeding_

___Only we will survive _

___My dearest_

___  
Fighting till all are dust and ash_

___We'll leave none standing_

___  
Those that attack us soon see their folly_

___As crimson regret stains the already saturated earth_

___  
They weaken and fall_

___But we stay strong_

___Invincible_

___  
Join me on the battlefield of horrors_

___Our victory waits._

* * *

_So did you like it? No really, I want to know! Anyway one down one to go. Thanks for all the reviews you won't believe how happy I was to get to the double digits. So keep it up!!!! _

_**Make my day, review!!!!!!!!**_


	6. A Hollow Soul

_**Disclaimer:**_I don't own Alucard or Hellsing, but I do own these poems. They're mine so don't take or use any part of them without permission.

_**Author's Note: **_This, much like first poem I posted, is more written by Alucard than inspired by him. It's more his own thoughts after a couple of centuries solitude. It's more philosophical than my other poems and kind of chaotic. By that I mean I jump around a lot. Personally, I think that this is more like a ramble than a poem but I'll let you guys decide. **Please Read and Review!!!!!!!!**

This ones for you Elin-Darling!!! Critique-time!!!!!!

**Warning: This poem is long but enjoyable!!**

* * *

_**A Hollow Soul**_

_Do empty souls dwell within the hearts of men?_

_Can hearts be as empty as the great abyss?_

_So tainted by malice and hate_

_That no light can shine through?_

_  
How can the heart house an empty soul?_

_Is it just a lingering sensation?_

_Does it even exist?_

_  
Is there more to a person than the soul?_

_Does having an empty soul mean that you are evil or a monster?_

_  
Is my soul empty?_

_If so how will I know?_

_Is there a sign that I can make_

_Or an incantation to recite to discover it?_

_  
Or is it in the discovery that it is truly lost?_

_  
Many call me a monster_

_But I have yet to feel hollow._

_Distant memories and emotions still dwell within my heart and mind._

_Even with these can I be hollow?_

_A living corpse with a hollow soul._

_Or is it the other way around?_

_  
I admit_

_The memories have been blemished and become clouded by time_

_But are still within and easily remembered._

_I am still myself though much has changed._

_  
I kill without mercy_

_I feed without regret_

_  
I dwell in shadows and kill my own kind_

_(Not my kind exactly but that's what they like to call themselves)_

_Lying to waste all those who come up against me_

_Human and vampire alike_

_Everything and everyone is a target._

_  
Is this what it means to be hollow?_

_Or instead of a soul am I filled with a new unknown substance?_

_Is this what to be hollow means?_

_Not knowing yet knowing what dwells inside me?_

_  
Does being inhuman mean to be hollow?_

_  
True I lack emotions like_

_Jealousy, envy, lust, greed and fear _

_But I still love, desire and feel compassion (at times)_

_  
The feelings I had for my family are still present and whole_

_Nor has it dwindled with time_

_  
I have gained much from losing those few emotions._

_I understand the world more clearly through new eyes_

_But the reason humans do what they do still puzzles me._

_  
Does losing those few emotions make me inhuman?_

_A monster?_

_Or Evil?_

_  
Or is it just that now I see humans as they truly are?_

_Monsters willing to hate each other for different skin tones or intangible beliefs_

_  
Has this new understanding make me an inhuman monster?_

_If so I hold the title proudly._

_  
What is it to be hollow?_

_Soulless?_

_Empty?_

_  
Or is it the other hallow?_

_Holy?_

_True purity?_

_  
True to my animalistic wants and desires_

_Not shackled by human bonds_

_Like morals, law and the desires of society._

_Although I do have pride and am honorable in my own right_

_  
Do I have to meet society's standards to be full?_

_To be human?_

_To be sane?_

_To live amongst them?_

_  
Am I hollow or have I become full?_

_  
Am I empty or have I just been surrounded by emptiness?_

_  
Am I in the abyss or is the abyss within me?_

_  
Maybe one day I will gain the answer_

_I have all of eternity to ask._

* * *

So how was it? Ramble or poem? I haven't critique this poem in a long time because it's so long and I lose interest in it. But that what I have you awesome people for. 

The next thing that I will post is a message from me to all of you for taking the time out of your busy schedules to read my work. Also, I will talk about works that I'll be doing in the future. So make sure you read it.

**Thanks so much!!**

**Read and Review!!!**


	7. Fearful Nights

_**Disclaimer: **_Same as usual. I don't own Alucard or Hellsing. But I do own these poems.

_**Author's Note: **_You know how I told you that I only had two poems left... well I lied. Here is another poem that I hope you'll like and **review.**

The message to the reviewers will happen next time. Here's the poem. **Enjoy and Review!!!!!!**

* * *

_**  
Fearful Nights**_

_I know it's me you fear_

_When you close your eyes at night_

_Allowing the silence to close in around you_

_  
The shadows created by the moonlight_

_Leads your mind to wander_

_To fear I maybe lurking within them_

_Waiting to come out and claim you_

_  
Every sound is magnified_

_As your frighten mind wanders of its maker_

_  
You close your eyes tightly_

_Wishing your fear away_

_Only to find_

_Your mind heightens the illusion_

_As sinister images play across_

_Your closed lids_

_  
You visualize monsters and demons_

_Beings so horrible and frightening_

_That not even the gates of hell_

_Would welcome them_

_  
You open your eyes again_

_And look fearfully into the dark night_

_Fearing what may come for you_

* * *

**_READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! _**Anonymous are now enabled. I didn't even know that they were disabled. Are they automatically like that? Sorry to all of the non-member reviewers who wanted to review but couldn't. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again. You can review now!!!!!!!

* * *


	8. Message

Hey guys and gals!!!! This is the message that was suppose to post last time but found a poem to take it's place. But first things first.

I want to thank Holy Lich, Alucard's girl, Matoska, MegFallow, SickDeath, Elin-Darling, Yenny Jaylor and Nekowa Momo for your reviews. They mean a lot to me. You have no idea how happy it made me to see that I got reviews in my e-mails. I just love reading them.

Thanks to Allegory.Necrosis, Alucard's girl, Holy Lich, Naikoru, SickDeath, and Yenny Jaylor for adding me to your favorites list.

And lastly, Holy Lich and Yenny Jaylor for putting me on their alerts.

You guys are awesome!!!

For any of the people who wanted to review and couldn't because you didn't have a profile you can now. I had no idea that not allowing anonymous reviews was an automatic function. I fixed it though so you can go back and review now.

* * *

Moving on I'd like to thank all the people who read my poems, though I do wish I had more beggars can't be choosers. For right now I'm going to leave this section open in case I come up with new poems to put up here. If you have any ideas for a new poem or story or whatever, feel free to send me an e-mail. I have no problems doing requests.

The next thing that I'm going to be working on is the story _A New Reality_ (look on my page for more info). I've started on the first chapter but this is my first fan fiction that's going to be posted so I'm not quite sure how much I want to put in each chapter. Hopefully I'll have the first chapter finished soon, but my brains gone on vacation. So keep hope alive.

That's pretty much it for now. See ya!!!


	9. A Sick Lie

_**Disclamier: **_Alucard isn't mine, but this poem is.

_**A/N:**_ Hey it's been a while. I know the next thing that I was suppose to write was suppose to be the first chapter of A New Reality but... It isn't finished yet. Laziness and school has pushed it back a little but I will have it up before my birthday which is Nov. 22. So if it isn't feel free to kick my $$ with e-mails. I may put a preview up soon though.

This poem was eating a hole in my brain so I had to post it. Consider this an apology for my first chapter not being up yet. I got this idea from KoRn's "Freak on a leash" and of course the always sexy Alucard.

_**A Sick Lie**_

_How may times_

_Have I felt diseased_

_Living this sad semblance_

_Of an existence?_

_An awful song_

_That will never end._

_At least not for me._

_Not able to stand_

_The light of day._

_Staying the same_

_When all else changes_

_Constantly._

_A sick lie that_

_I am too weak of mind_

_And of heart, to escape._

_Unable to see_

_The truth beyond it._

_Stuck in who I was_

_Not willing to accept_

_Who I am_

_And will be_

_Until my end._

_A sick creature_

_That refuses to be_

_Cast out like_

_The leaper that I am._

_I should be locked away. _

_Never to be seen_

_Or heard from again._

_Maybe I should vanish._

_Just disappear_

_From the history_

_Of the world._

_Leaving only_

_A lonely memory._

_What a sick lie_

_This thing called life_

_Can be!_

_A wasting existence_

_With it's ebb and flow_

_It's good time_

_Filled with light_

_And happiness._

_To it's horrible moments._

_Where one wishes_

_To gouge out_

_Ones own eyes_

_To escape the harsh memory._

_Leaving a blinded fool_

_With reoccurring plays._

_Wanting desperately to end it._

_Only to find _

_That you're too much_

_Of a coward to do it yourself._

_Looking for others_

_To do what you can't_

_Wanting someone to give you meaning_

_Or give you death_

_Pathetic,_

_Simply and purely._

_What a waste it can be! _


	10. Follow Me

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Hellsing or the Hellsing cast (Kouta Hirano does, lucky bastard!) but I do own this poem. I make no money from this!

Hello friends, new and old! I haven't posted any poems in a long, long time. This poem is rather old but, I think, it has a good atmosphere.

**Author's Notes: **To all of my old friends/followers, it has been a long time coming but I have finally started posting a fanfic. It's called A New Reality (check it out here: s/8096723/1/A-New-Reality ).

**A/N 2: **To all my new friends/followers, I'm posting to make up for this month's chapter of A New Reality. It isn't cooperating at the moment.

_**Follow Me**_

Follow me into the darkness

We don't have to go too far

The darkness is all around us

Waiting to accept us

With arms open wide

The door to oblivion awaits us

Beckoning us to enter

_It would be rude not to accept its offer?_

_Wouldn't it, love?_

Follow me

We don't have much time to waste

The night is singing a Siren's song of longing

Its pull is so strong

Follow me

through the gate where time stands still

A place where existence ends

Follow me into the abyss

Its gates are open for us

Follow me


	11. Let Me Sleep

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the Hellsing or the Hellsing cast (Kouta Hirano does, lucky bastard!) but I do own this poem. I make no money from this!

ASK BEFORE REPOSTING OR USE IN ANYWAY! (I'll probably say yes anyway)

**Author's Notes: **You know how I said I'd try to have a new chapter of A New Reality this much… yeah didn't happen.

But I do have a** poll** up on my **profile**. Check it out and **vote.**

Thanks for the fav and follow hellsingfan101!

_Let Me Sleep_

I wish I could sleep.

Sleep forever.

Escaping a life of tormenting shadows

Trapped inside world of fragile things

I sleep to die.

It is an existence of nothingness

yet I cannot escape it.

No matter how hard I try

I still awaken each day

only to suffer, alone.

Nothing in this world

is immortal.

But at times,

the pain seems

to span an eternity.

What is left for me here?

Why must I continue

this useless existence?

How long must I suffer

this slow march?


	12. Testament of a Silent Voyeur

**Disclaimer:** Hellsing and cast belong to Kohta Hirano and funimation, but the plot and OC belong to me. I make no money from this work.

**Author's Note:** I have a new poll up! Go vote!

**Testament of a Silent Voyeur**

Die to me.

Leave me be.

Do not trouble me

with your radiant vision.

Let me lie here

undisturbed.

Alone in peaceful solitude

graced only by darkness.

Who needs the light?

Its biased gleam

shining upon those

it considers worthy,

casting others into obscurity.

Darkness, however,

is far more magnanimous.

Encompassing all equally

under its flowing, black veil.

Free from the clutter

that the light identifies.

So turn from me.

Allow me to fade to black.

I love comments, so **review**! ^0^

I'm think of some new ideas for poems. Feel free to leave suggestions!

***All Rights Reserved. Ask before using!***


	13. Sweet Innocent Sacrifice

**Disclaimer:** Hellsing and cast belong to Kohta Hirano and funimation, but the plot and OC belong to me. I make no money from this work.

**Author's Note:** I have a new poll up! Go vote!

**A/N 2**: Originally I wasn't going to post anything this month but I felt kind of bad soo...

So we've offically come to the part where my ideas for this story is slightly vague. Which means, unfortunately, more time between post. I'm also working on new poems for Inside the Mind of Vampire. So more time for post between those, too. But I may send sneak peeks to the awesome people who followed/faved me.

* * *

**Sweet Innocent Sacrifice**

_Will_ you give your love to me,

Sweet sacrifice?

_A love_, so pure and tender

That it would lead

This poor, dead heart

To beat again?

_Do_ you crave me so badly

That you would cut out

Your own beating heart

And lay it in my hands?

_I can't_ change who I am.

What I am.

Yet you still love me?

_How_ foolish!

_What_ if I were to ask the unthinkable of you?

Would you join me in my world of hells?

_Poor_

Sweet

Innocent sacrifice

Do you wish for me so badly?

_Then_ come

Lay upon my altar

* * *

This is not an AxS poem. I am an AxI shipper but I had no one in mind when I wrote this.

The _Italics_ are the beginnings of a new stanza.


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